Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
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