why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
