he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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