I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
