If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize