I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
