You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Girls should come with a carfax report
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
