If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
