...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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