i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize