at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
