I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize