Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
