Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
