well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
