so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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