you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I supernannyed him into submission
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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