I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize