Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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