chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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