I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Non-Jews are for practice
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize