In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The struggles of a small town man whore
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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