I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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