Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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