What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
