glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
