Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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