you would pick up someone in the library
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
