so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he puts the penis in happiness.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
She's the barista slut.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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