I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i permit you to call me
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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