Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
