I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
