I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
