There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
