Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
