how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
