Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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