Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
