There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
