literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
