great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
