She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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