So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
