Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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