So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
