I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
