I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
