i don't like sucking hair
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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