i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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