I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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