She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
