how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He shit in the fireplace
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
