So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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