But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
