So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
