next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
