your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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