i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
