he shaved USA in his pubs
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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