ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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