I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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