You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He did a backflip because drugs
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
