So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
