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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
my poor anus
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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