I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
your room smells of hookers.
And success
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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